That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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