omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
