You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
