She's JV to your varsity
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
