oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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