Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
