She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
