Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
