we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
