you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
