Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
