Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
