Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
