I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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