i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
