She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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