physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
