You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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