i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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