Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
