would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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