First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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