things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
