My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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