He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
