Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
