i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
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