I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
