She said her name was "party"
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
