he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
