My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
