The maid of honor just puked.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
