My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
