just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize