ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize