I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize