Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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