12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
