So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
