the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
