Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
