Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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