He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My vagina just clenched in fear
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
