So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
