Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize