I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
