If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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