she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
