Barsexuality is the new black.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
