i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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