The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
