After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just found puke in my bra..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
