Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
