Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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