So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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