I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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