I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
