PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
