one might say we're banned from that church
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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