so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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