Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
