I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
