I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I cut my penus on the lid.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
