His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
