So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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