I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
