This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
