its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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