I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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