But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
