Say something about gay babies.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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