Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize