Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
