found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
