hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize